Is Your Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Advancing Your Career?

 

You’re in a meeting when a colleague takes credit for your work. What would you do: 1) Publicly confront the colleague over ownership? 2) After the meeting, request she give you credit when discussing your work? 3) Nothing? 4) Publicly thank her for referencing your work, and give the group additional information?

If you selected # 4, you’ve demonstrated emotional intelligence or EQ. Studies show that emotionally intelligent people are more successful in their careers than people who possess only intellectual smarts.Daniel Goldman, who popularized the EQ concept, identified five interrelated EQ competencies:  Self-Awareness, Self-Regulation, Self-Motivation, Empathy, and Effective Relationships.

What’s your EQ?
Answer “yes” or “no.”

1. I recognize my feelings and differentiate among them.
2. I know and accept myself.
3. I need to discuss my problems with others.
4. I’m realizing my potential.
5. I hang up on angry clients.
6. I get facts before reacting in an uncomfortable situation.
7. My life is stressful.
8. If I don’t get the promotion, I’ll continue to perform well, believing I’ll get the next one.
9. I get depressed regularly.
10. I usually reframe bad experiences.
11. I don’t handle adversity well.
12. I’m persistent.
13. I’m sensitive to others’ feelings.
14. If a colleague has a problem, I’d volunteer to help.
15. l share my thoughts..
16. I value others’ viewpoints even though I disagree.
17. I’m dependable, cooperative.
18. My conscience guides my actions.
19. I’m comfortable with people.
20. I have good communication skills.

Scoring: One point for each “yes” to all items except 3, 5, 7, 9, and 11. A high score suggests you may be emotionally intelligent. (The items listed are only examples of emotional intelligence.)

Strengthening Emotional Intelligence

1. Self–Awareness.Items 1 to 4 measure competencies such as self-understanding, confidence, and self-reliance. To enhance self-awareness, know and accept yourself. Be yourself, not who you “should” be.

Clarify your purpose, and commit to at least one goal that enables your to express your purpose. Tips for clarifying purpose are found in www.questersdaretochange.com/blog/page/11/

Build on strengths. List proud personal qualities and accomplishments such as confident, caring, optimistic. Each week, enhance a previous performance related to one strength.  For example, list what else can you do to become more optimistic, resilient or other?

Recognize feelings such as sadness and anger. Note what triggers these feeling and subsequent successful and unsuccessful consequences.

2. Self-Regulation. Items 5 to 8 measure self-management skills such as self-control, flexibility, and tact.  Learn to manage emotions and negative thoughts and feelings. Restructure negative thoughts so they’re more positive. Recognize time wasting habits and modify your schedule accordingly.

Minimize fear by identifying worrisome issues, and using appropriate information and resources to minimize these. Live in the present. When angry, take time out before acting. Go to a quiet place and breathe deeply, or wait a few days to cool down. Engage in physical activities to reduce stress.

3. Self-Motivation. Items 9 to 12 measure competencies such as optimism, drive, and inner-directedness. To strengthen self-motivation, develop positive thinking patterns. Focus on opportunities. Practice positive self-talk. Believe good things will happen. Begin each day by smiling at yourself in the mirror.

Take charge of your career. Experiment with new ideas, strategies. Think and talk about things you want. Define success personally. Persist in achieving goals. View mistakes as leaning experiences.

4. Empathy.Items 13 to 16 measure empathy, awareness and appreciation of others’ feelings. Strengthen empathy by listening. People feel reassured and understood when others pay attention. Listen to peoples’ needs and perspectives.

Summarize what you hear the person say. Let her know you hear and understand her thoughts and feelings. Listen between the lines. What’s the person feeling but not saying? Ask questions when unsure.

Build rapport and trust. Be genuine, approachable, open to suggestions. Make people feel physically and emotionally comfortable. Demonstrate appreciation.

5. Effective Relationships. Items 17 to 20 measure interpersonal skills such as friendliness, communication, teamwork, and leadership. Cultivate friendly relationships with co-workers. Know peoples’ names and special strengths. Develop ”small-talk” skills. Celebrate peoples’ accomplishments.

Develop a social conscience. Volunteer for company-sponsored or community projects. Get involved in hobbies that involve social interaction. Practice communication skills. Read, take courses. Join Toastmasters.

Success and satisfaction in our global workplace require emotional intelligence in addition to technical and professional skills. Identify one EQ  trait to strengthen each week.

Chapter 3, QuestersDare to Change Your Job and Your Life, by Dr. Carole Kanchier, provides additional ways to strengthen EQ or Quester traits:  https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963

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How to Succeed in Your New Job

 

Rosemary writes: “I’m starting a new position and want to make sure I get off to a good start. What to do?”

Starting a new job is exciting and sometimes intimidating. You have a fresh start, new challenges and renewed energy. But you may also feel apprehensive, particularly if you were fired or laid off from your last job.

Tips for thriving in your new job

– Believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities. Own your power. William James, the famous psychologist said: “Your belief in at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking is the one thing that ensures the successful outcome of the venture.” When you expect the best, you release a magnetic force in your mind, which by the law of attraction, tends to bring the best to you.

Recognize that you create your own thoughts and have the power to change them. Practice self-talk every day. Say, “I like myself because…” “I can…” Use positive statements about such things as being healthy and being in control. Don’t criticize. Think of ways to improve the situation. Avoid phrases such as, “I can’t.”

Don’t put yourself down with false modesty or boast with misleading claims. Maintain standards of good taste. Avoid extremes in mannerism, dress and hairstyles. Stay conservative until you know the lay of the land.  Don’t take unfair advantage of the employer. Avoid extended breaks or personal emails. Stay overtime to complete projects.

– Know the organization and key people on the management team. Know the company’s mission statement, values, customs, practices, rituals and communication networks. Read the organization’s policy manual. Inquire politely about the rationale behind policies or procedures you dislike. Adapt your behavior to the company’s style, but don’t eliminate qualities that make you unique.

Although knowing what happened to your predecessor should have been determined in earlier interviews, you may get a different perspective when you’re in the organization. Discussing issues and concerns with your predecessor or colleagues can minimize errors and illustrate successful practices.

Respect and cooperate with superiors, peers and subordinates. They can be supportive, or make things difficult.

Get to know experienced co-workers. They’ll advise you of informal procedures and networks.  Avoid close association with any one group or clique. Learn the jobs of associates and superiors. Acknowledge co-workers’ interests, concerns and contributions. Volunteer to help colleagues who need assistance.

Demonstrate loyalty to your employer and supervisor. Air disagreements with supervisors. Don’t discuss these with colleagues. Speak well or don’t speak.

Debate the pros and cons of work-related issues with co-workers. These discussions usually result in effective problem resolutions and company growth.

– Listen and observe. Learn how the company works. Don’t try to change things during the first few weeks. Move cautiously. You won’t cement good relationships by being labeled a know-it-all. Avoid making statements that suggest things are done better elsewhere. Offer a suggestion like “I wonder if this might work?”

Follow instructions, rules and regulations. Ask questions until you understand where you stand and how you should proceed. Listen to ideas offered by others before suggesting a problem solution. Contribute, but don’t criticize. Demonstrate how your suggestions could complement others’ ideas.

– Clarify roles, responsibilities and priorities. Although you undoubtedly discussed things that needed attention during the selection process, clarify these with your current boss. This will give you an idea of the pace your boss would like you to set.

– Demonstrate excellence. Concentrate on quality.  Demonstrate attention to detail, discipline, and willingness to accept unglamorous but necessary tasks. Be responsive to things that need doing without taking on the whole project.

– Monitor job satisfaction and performance. Review job satisfiers and dissatisfiers. Ask for feedback on performance. Don’t wait passively for formal evaluations. Requesting feedback shows that you take your job seriously and enables you to correct minor issues so that major problems won’t develop.

– Stay employable. Keep skills current. Continuously refine professional and technical skills. These will enable you to exercise mental muscle and creativity. Equally important, maintain physical fitness. Good nutrition and fitness bring health and vitality. Network with professional and industry personnel to stay in the loop.

Avoid the following traits that lead to layoffs: poor performance and productivity, resistance to change, lack of teamwork and enthusiasm, failure to contribute at meetings, poor interpersonal and communication skills, and frequent absences.

The key to an ever evolving career is to monitor your own career development and stay attuned to new opportunities.

Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life by Dr. Carole Kanchier, offers additional ways to succeed in your new job: https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963

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Use Intuition for Career Decision Making
Use Intuition for Career Decision Making, May 7, 2018

 

Kathleen, a grade six teacher wonders whether to accept the promotion to principal. Les, a human resources manager, wants a job that “excites” him. Recently laid off, Barbara thinks this might be a perfect time to start her own business. Tom, an engineer, wants to try a different field where he can still use his engineering skills.

Intuition is a great tool to use in solving varied career and personal challenges. Sigmund Freud’s advice is legendary. “When making a decision … in vital matters … such as the choice of a mate or a profession, the decision should come from the unconscious, from somewhere within ourselves.”

Individuals who make wise career decisions combine intuitive strengths with intellect. Trust and value your intuition.  Recognize that you do have the capacity to tap into it. Intend to develop it. Believe you’ll get the required information.

Practice relaxation. Relaxing the body allows you to relax the mind. This enables you to slow your brain wave frequency allowing the subconscious mind to function more actively.

Find a regular time and place to be alone so that inner signals can be heard. Release negative thoughts and feelings which block energy. Make yourself talk positive. Replace negative thoughts with more positive statements or pictures.

Meditate to get into a deeper state of awareness where answers will come more easily. You can meditate on any object, a candle flame, a mantra, a nonsense phrase or even your name.

Because intuition connects to a vast data base, it needs concise direction to retrieve a specific answer. For example, Eleanor was wondering whether she should relocate to southern California to join her fiancee. Instead of asking, “Should I relocate?” she asked, “Should I relocate to southern California?” When she received a yes response, she asked for additional information, “Should I move next spring or summer?”

Try These Problem Solving Techniques

– Program Your Dreams. Tell yourself, “I want to have a dream that will contain ……… information to solve a specific problem….I will have such a dream, remember it and understand it.”  Dreams usually come to us in language or symbols we can understand. Examine the sequence of events, how you felt upon awakening how the dream ended. Note the internal and external cues you receive the next day such hearing some news on the radio while driving to work.

–  Draw or Doodle. Write out a question that clearly states what you want to know. Underneath your question draw whatever comes to your mind or flows through your hands. Draw until you have nothing to add. Look at the meaning behind the drawing and the symbols within it. Note the sequence of steps. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings as you look at the picture.

– Exercise. Pose a question to your intuition before any kind of physical activity. Then focus on your activity. Pay attention to the various cues that appear during and after the exercise.

– Make a Dream Inventory.  Spend about 40 minutes writing down all the things you want to do, have, be and share as quickly as possible. Create the people, feelings and places you want. Everything is possible. Ignore security or financial considerations. Identify major themes that emerge.

– Program a Successful Day. Relax on your bed after awakening in the morning. Visualize your entire day on a mental screen. Put a clock on the screen and mentally move the clock forward each hour to the end of the day. Play a mental movie illustrating everything moving smoothly and successfully as you desire. Use this technique to rehearse a successful job interview or anything also you desire.

–  Keep a Journal. Write your daily thoughts, feelings and hunches.  Pay attention to what you write and how you feel at the time. Note thoughts and feelings that emerge when you finish. Notice how intuitive hunches feel different from calculated ones.

– Practice Makes Perfect. The more you listen to and pay attention to your intuition, the more you’ll become aware of it. Take at least five minutes of quiet time every day to listen to your intuition. Ask for help, support, direction, awareness or anything you want an answer to. Have faith it will come.

Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Your Life, by Dr. Carole Kanchier, provides additional ways to access intuition: https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963

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Are you wondering what to do with your life? Wish you could understand and control your life career? Want to succeed in changing times?

Two leading books show how to create your desired life.

The books are based on Dr. Carole Kanchier’s ongoing research on career, personal, and spiritual growth.

1. Award winning, Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life (6 Ed.) redefines the way we look at careers and work, and offers a master plan for lifelong career success.

(Take the Quester Quiz: http://www.questersdaretochange.com/services-2/quester-quiz/ )

Questers is available from amazon: (https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963O)

2. Arouse the Force Within You! (In preparation) describes how humans are part of an infinite and eternal energy from which all things proceed. Numerous strategies show readers how to use this power within to create their desired lives, and contribute to a peaceful planet.

Please contact Carole Kanchier for additional information. carole@questersdaretochange.com

 

 

 

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Do You Feel Guilty at Work?
Have you ever felt guilty at work when there really was no reason to?

 

True guilt is the negative feeling we have when we harm others. False guilt, on the other hand, is a negative feeling triggered by not living up to standards that are no longer realistic or because of things outside our control. For example, we may feel guilty because we think we are no longer contributing to our group project. Or a manager may feel guilty because she keeps her job, but some workers she supervised were laid off due to restructuring.

Much of the guilt we experience is self-imposed. For example, over the past month, our very busy schedules may have had us working every weekend. Even though we had worked every weekend, we may feel guilty about talking a day off for ourselves one day during the work week.

Feelings of guilt may be initiated by several factors including: working late, sleeping in because we worked late the night before, eating a delicious but fatty dessert, missing a friend’s special event, or forgetting a parent’s birthday.

Our choices should reflect what we want to do, not what we feel obligated to do! Feelings of guilt rarely increase people’s effectiveness. Most people don’t find guilt an attractive trait, either.

Tips for Minimizing Guilt

1. Identify feelings of guilt. List (on paper or computer) when and where you have guilt reactions.
Select one situation that makes you feel guilty. See and experience yourself managing this guilt situation competently and confidently. (Note people, resources, skills and other required to manage this situation.)

2. Live by your own values and standards of excellence. Feelings of guilt can develop when a person has a lot of “shoulds” in life. As an adult you have responsibility for yourself. But you also have the option to live your own life, not live by the values of supervisors, parents, co-workers, or the media. Do not feel guilty because you try to live up to standards that don’t fit your needs, values or goals. Question where these “shoulds” come from. Then determine whether they serve you well.

3. Set limits on your time and energy. Let others know these. If you don’t want to do it, give it, or go to it, politely say “no.” If you don’t want to have lunch with co-workers, say so. Express support for, and defend your opinions. Consider stating your ideas at the next staff meeting. Value yourself; your opinions count.

Limit time you spend with individuals who tend to make you feel guilty about doing or not doing something.

4. Make amends if you’re wrong. Guilt can be helpful if it motivates you to take better care of yourself, and to treat those around you with more care. For example, if you do something to hurt a co-worker, like lashing out at him, verbally apologize.

5. Adjust Expectations. Guilt is often triggered by perfectionism, holding ourselves accountable to standards that don’t fit our values, needs and abilities. Do a reality check on your expectations. On the left side of a piece of paper, list all those things you no longer do but think you should do, for example, bring treats to work occasionally, take turns washing dirty coffee cups, or stay late to meet a project deadline. On the right side, write your judgment of whether the expectation is realistic. Then modify goals based on what you learned from the exercise.

6. Reframe Self-Talk. Change your internal dialogue so that it supports your efforts to a live happy, productive work life. Restructure negative thoughts so they’re more positive.

Keep a log to track negatives you say. Each time you catch yourself saying something that fuels guilt feelings, replace it with a more positive statement. Think “I can” instead of “I can’t”.

Sample situation: A supervisor is respectfully giving constructive feedback to a worker. The worker begins to cry! Guilt moderating thoughts of manager:  ” I had to provide the feedback; not giving it wouldn’t serve anyone well. I did the best I could do to be understanding and respectful.”

7. Shift attention. Control how you respond when feelings of guilt arise. For example, if you feel guilty about not going to a staff party, ask yourself, “Is this feeling productive?” If the feeling is not productive, turn your attention elsewhere by going shopping or completing a project early.  Guilt feelings about the staff party will pass.

8. Cultivate friendly relationships with co-workers.  Know peoples’ names and special strengths. Develop ”small-talk” skills. Celebrate peoples’ accomplishments .Develop a social conscience. Volunteer for company-sponsored or community projects. Get involved in hobbies that involve people interaction. Practice communication skills. Read, take courses. Join Toastmasters.

9. Build confidence. Know and accept yourself. Know what you can do and want. If you love yourself others will also. Acknowledge your accomplishments. Prepare a list of positive achievements and personality characteristics. Post this where you can read it daily. Don’t compare yourself to or compete with others.

Affirm yourself daily. Each morning before you get out of bed, see yourself proceeding confidently and competently throughout your desired work day. Confirm yourself: “I’m confident, intelligent, caring and attractive” (or whatever you want to be).

10. Schedule time for self care.  Include healthy diet, sufficient sleep, meditation or prayer, exercise and supportive relationships.

Questers Dare to Change tour Job and Life offers additional tips for managing guilt and shows how to create your desired life career:  https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963

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Prepare for Key Job Interview Questions

 

 

Preparing for interview questions will give you the edge over other qualified candidates. Although there isn’t one correct way to respond to questions, keep the following in mind:

1. Understand what’s being asked. Employers want to know about your adaptive skills (meeting deadlines) and personal qualities (dependability, motivation).
2. Answer questions briefly.  Present the facts as advantages.
3. Answer the real question. Show how your skills and experience can do the job. Demonstrate how your past accomplishments relate to the job.

Provide concrete examples and relate stories. Describing situations where you’ve used your skills is more powerful than just stating this. Include details.

Quantify to provide a basis for your accomplishments. Give the number of clients served or the amount you increased the profit margin.

Emphasize results. Give data indicating positive results you’ve obtained such as sales increased by 10 percent over the previous year.

Sample Key Questions

1. Tell me about yourself? This is a terrific opportunity to give your “one minute commercial.” Relate your background to the position being considered. Provide some personal history, then show how your skills, accomplishments and training are directly related to the job.

2.  Why should I hire you? Market yourself. Talk about your achievements, awards and promotions, but don’t take credit for things you don’t deserve or claim experience you don’t have.

Show how you can help the employer make more money by improving efficiency, reducing cost, increasing sales or solving problems. Present your skills and experience in a direct, confident way. Show your portfolio which can include concrete examples of your work.

3. What are your major strengths? Emphasize your self-management skills (hard working, goal directed). Once you begin speaking about one strength, the rest of your response falls into place.

4. What are your major weaknesses? This is tricky. Employers want to now how you’ll react in a tough situation. Be honest, brief and positive. Turn a weakness into a strength. Share something you’re currently working on. “I’m improving my time management skills. I develop and adhere to a daily schedule.”

5. What salary do you expect? Never discuss salary until you’re offered the position. Once you expose yourself, you’re less efficient at negotiating your value. If salary comes up, state: “Because I’m really interested in the job, my salary would be negotiable.”

Many candidates are dismissed prematurely because they state an excessively low or high salary. Defer the question politely. Then, when the timing is right, maneuver the interviewer into stating the starting salary.

Research going salary ranges for similar positions in comparable organizations. Think in terms of a broad salary range. Begin with their probable range and end a bit above your salary expectations.

Never refuse a job or salary offer on the spot. Think about it. Instead of rejecting a given salary, say: “That’s lower than I had in mind, but since I want this position I’ll accept this. When will there be a performance review with a salary increase?”

6. How does your previous experience relate to this job? Try to overcome limitations in your background. Emphasize your strengths such as personal and technical transferable skills to counter lack of skills or experience with the prospective job. Show how school courses or accomplishments in a different field relate to the position. Be confident.

7. Why do you want this job? Employers want someone who’s motivated to do a particular kind of job with their company because this usually ensures long-term commitment. They don’t want someone who is seeking any job anywhere.

Know why you’re a good match for the position. Show how your interests, skills, accomplishments, special training, credentials, mission, goals and other qualities relate to the position. Explain why you want to work for this  company. Know its mission.

8. What will your former employers say about you?  Formulate a rational explanation of why you left. Show that you’re a team player. Discuss your career plans with former supervisors. If you were fired negotiate what would be said to prospective employers. Interviewers usually understand conflicts presented positively. Use referees who will give favorable references.

Be yourself and emphasize your suitability for the position.

Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life, by Dr. Carole Kanchier, offers additional job search tips: https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963

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Re-entering the workforce

 

Amanda wants to reenter the job market, but she doesn’t know where to start! Ihor, who took time out to care for his aging mother, is in a similar position.

Thousands of women and men who took time away from work feel the same as Amanda and Ihor. Those who research and plan, do very well. You can too!

Tips for re-entering the workforce

Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life offers case studies, quizzes and strategies that show how to take charge of your life career. https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963

– Know who you are and what you want to do. Do you want to work solely for the income? Or do you want a career that will be an expression of your identity?What is your dream job? What skills, interests and needs do you want to use on the job?

Identify job duties, work environment, salary, benefits advancement opportunities, and the skills required. List your accomplishments in prior jobs, and school, volunteer, community or homemaking endeavors. Recall activities you really enjoyed. Include homemaking talents such as budgeting, catering parties, or helping others with yard maintenance tasks.

-Take stock of your personal strengths. List adjectives that describe you such as mature, sociable, discreet, confident, enthusiastic, precise, helpful and creative.

Use action words to describe your strengths: designed, researched, supervised, prepared, trained, etc. Make the list as long as possible. Ask your partner or friends to help you identify strengths.

– Identify occupational fields and occupations that will enable you to use your skills and express other personal qualities. The Occupational Outlook Handbook (OOH) published by US Bureau of Labor Statistics (www.bls.gov/ooh) is a great start. As well, cruise the internet and interview people in your desired fields. Identify job duties, work environment, salary, benefits, advancement opportunities, and skills and training required. Determine personal qualities needed and lifestyle of workers.

– Set long- and short- term goals. Outline your goal and time line. Then develop a plan and focus on your goal. Break the goal into small steps. Transfer the action steps onto your daily calendar and move forward. Modify these as circumstances change.

Specify skills you may wish to upgrade and new skills you may wish to attain. Consider returning to school for retraining, upgrading or an advanced degree. Education can ease reentry into the work force by enabling you to acquire knowledge and skills and develop contacts. Colleges and universities offer certificate and degree programs. Workshops and courses offered by community, business or professional groups, correspondence school, and on–the–job or apprenticeship training provide valuable information.

Acquire job-search skills. Many good books and courses can help you develop a resume, market yourself and  prepare for the interview. Enthusiastically show prospective employers how your skills and accomplishments can contribute to the organization.

Network. Getting the right job is often the game of who you know. Contact everyone who might help you gain access to an employer. Include former employers, teachers, professional associates, friends, relatives, neighbors, etc. Visit trade shows, attend chamber of commerce meetings, and events sponsored by local community groups. Many meetings are listed in local newspapers or online, volunteer for a cause. Conduct informational interviews.

– Engage in part-time or volunteer work. You’ll get experience and adjust to the new lifestyle. It may also lead to a full-time position.

Register with a temporary service agency. Temps provide a testing ground, new contacts and help you get your foot in the door.

– Consider a home based business. Eleanor, a single parent with two young children, started a children’s discount clothing boutique in her basement. Debbie Fields started Mrs. Fields cookies at home. Frank and his brother started a window cleaning business.

– Budget for housekeeping, child care, business clothes and commuting expenses. Interview other re-entry  adults for more suggestions.

– Manage time wisely. Schedule errands, appointments and play time. Ask your partner and children to help with chores.

– Value yourself. Develop relationships with positive people who support your endeavors. You are capable, and will achieve desired goals.

Additional tips for taking charge of your life career are found in Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life.

Dr. Carole Kanchier, registered psychologist, coach, columnist, speaker, and author of Questers is available for consultations: carole@questersdaretochange.com

 

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Trust in the workplace

“The people when rightfully and fully trusted will return the trust.” Abraham Lincoln

Trust is an essential element of a work relationship. Trust may take time to develop but easy to lose.

Examples of trust include having faith that a colleague will complete his or her part of an assigned project or relying on a supervisor’s promise of a promotion by a specific date.

Betrayal is a loss of trust that can stem from subtle actions, like telling a white lie, to large scandals such as embezzlement. Feelings of betrayal can occur when there is dishonesty or perceived dishonesty and can coincide with feelings of disappointment or unmet expectations. Examples of betrayal include layoffs in a department after promises of job security, and belittling a co-worker.

A betrayal of trust, minor or unintentional, can diminish employee confidence, alienate workers from their peers, add communication roadblocks, affect decision-making, and diminish worker creativity.

Failure to address and resolve a betrayal promotes a culture of distrust that can lead to greater betrayals.
Trust elevates levels of commitment and sustains effort and productivity without the need for management control.  Studies show that trust-based working relationships give organizations a competitive advantage. A leader’s level of trust is contingent upon the employee’s perceptions of the leader’s integrity, benevolence, and ability.

Building Trust

Trust requires mutual commitment. Trust is built through honesty, integrity and consistency in relationships. Although it requires mutual commitment and effort, there are several ways individuals can act on their own to initiate trust.

– Attend to what is happening in the work environment. Listen and learn what caused a broken trust relationship, and the impact on those affected.

– Allow feelings to surface. When people are in pain, they need to be heard and given support. Sometimes just talking with a trusted friend or colleague is good therapy; other times professional assistance may be required.

– Take responsibility for betrayal of trust in a given situation, then list ways you can change your behavior in a subsequent happening.

– Behave consistently and predictably. Ensure that your words and subsequent actions are congruent, and honor commitments. Integrity is reinforced to the extent that you do what you say you will do.

– Perform competently. Continuously strive to demonstrate excellence in performing your responsibilities.

– Communicate face-to-face, if feasible. Studies suggest that perpetual electronic communication such as emails can make workers feel disconnected. This suggests visual cues and personal and group meetings are important for building trust.

– Communicate accurately, openly, and transparently. Be explicit and direct about your intentions. State what you need or expect. Don’t assume others know what to do. Tactfully air problems and seek win-win resolutions. When engaged in an ongoing project with others, communicate progress.

– Show respect and concern for others. Demonstrate sensitivity to peoples’ needs, desires, and interests. Be genuine, Show respect and concern for others. Understand what trust means in different cultures. Get to know people better by engaging in social activities. This helps to strengthen common qualities and minimize false stereotypes.

– Forgive. This helps to free you from anger, bitterness, and resentment. Let go and move on.

– Write a letter to someone you distrust. List your reasons for not trusting. Share feelings and irrational beliefs that block trust, and ask the person to help you resolve the issue. Tell the person what you’re willing to do (and not do) to improve a given situation. When you’ve completed the letter, send it, save it or tear it up. Note what you’ve learned and how you can apply the knowledge to a work situation.

– Create a healthy work environment. Minimize competition and encourage cooperation and teamwork.  Solicit input and share decision making. Propose joint products, services and activities that define common goals. Working toward the collective achievement of goals fosters a feeling of commonality that can strengthen a shared identity, reduce divisiveness and encourage teamwork. So does engaging in discussion and actions that build a sense of “we” rather than “me.” Recognize others’ contributions and demonstrate confidence in their abilities. Share credit.

– List things you can do to build trust with an associate or acquaintance you currently mistrust. Share your ideas with a trusted friend or co-worker.

Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life offers additional tips for building trust: https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963
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Trust in the workplace

 

The people when rightfully and fully trusted will return the trust – Abraham Lincoln

 

Trust is an essential element of a work relationship. Trust may take time to develop but easy to lose.Examples of trust include having faith that a colleague will complete his or her part of an assigned project or relying on a supervisor’s promise of a promotion by a specific date.

Betrayal is a loss of trust that can stem from subtle actions, like telling a white lie, to large scandals such as embezzlement. Feelings of betrayal can occur when there is dishonesty or perceived dishonesty and can coincide with feelings of disappointment or unmet expectations. Examples of betrayal include layoffs in a department after promises of job security, and belittling a co-worker.

A betrayal of trust, minor or unintentional, can diminish employee confidence, alienate workers from their peers, add communication roadblocks, affect decision-making, and diminish worker creativity.

Failure to address and resolve a betrayal promotes a culture of distrust that can lead to greater betrayals.
Trust elevates levels of commitment and sustains effort and productivity without the need for management control.  Studies show that trust-based working relationships give organizations a competitive advantage. A leader’s level of trust is contingent upon the employee’s perceptions of the leader’s integrity, benevolence, and ability.

Building Trust

Trust requires mutual commitment. Trust is built through honesty, integrity and consistency in relationships. Although it requires mutual commitment and effort, there are several ways individuals can act on their own to initiate trust.

– Attend to what is happening in the work environment. Listen and learn what caused a broken trust relationship, and the impact on those affected.

– Allow feelings to surface. When people are in pain, they need to be heard and given support. Sometimes just talking with a trusted friend or colleague is good therapy; other times professional assistance may be required.

– Take responsibility for betrayal of trust in a given situation, then list ways you can change your behavior in a subsequent happening.

– Behave consistently and predictably. Ensure that your words and subsequent actions are congruent, and honor commitments. Integrity is reinforced to the extent that you do what you say you will do.

– Perform competently. Continuously strive to demonstrate excellence in performing your responsibilities.

– Communicate face-to-face, if feasible. Studies suggest that perpetual electronic communication such as emails can make workers feel disconnected. This suggests visual cues and personal and group meetings are important for building trust.

– Communicate accurately, openly, and transparently. Be explicit and direct about your intentions. State what you need or expect. Don’t assume others know what to do. Tactfully air problems and seek win-win resolutions. When engaged in an ongoing project with others, communicate progress.

– Show respect and concern for others. Demonstrate sensitivity to peoples’ needs, desires, and interests. Be genuine, friendly. Understand what trust means in different cultures. Get to know people better by engaging in social activities. This helps to strengthen common qualities and minimize false stereotypes.

– Forgive. This helps to free you from anger, bitterness, and resentment. Let go and move on.

– Write a letter to someone you distrust. List your reasons for not trusting. Share feelings and irrational beliefs that block trust, and ask the person to help you resolve the issue. Tell the person what you’re willing to do (and not do) to improve a given situation. When you’ve completed the letter, send it, save it or tear it up. Note what you’ve learned and how you can apply the knowledge to a work situation.

– Create a healthy work environment. Minimize competition and encourage cooperation and teamwork.  Solicit input and share decision making. Propose joint products, services and activities that define common goals. Working toward the collective achievement of goals fosters a feeling of commonality that can strengthen a shared identity, reduce divisiveness and encourage teamwork. So does engaging in discussion and actions that build a sense of “we” rather than “me.” Recognize others’ contributions and demonstrate confidence in their abilities. Share credit.

– List things you can do to build trust with an associate or acquaintance you currently mistrust. Share your ideas with a trusted friend or co-worker.

Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life offers additional tips for building trust. https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963

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Today we see the beginnings of a ground-shaking new wave of developments, with artificial intelligence as the primary driver but also genomics, blockchain, 3D printing, nanotechnology, virtual reality, and more discoveries gaining recognition.

How can we manage our way through these upheavals to create the best possible opportunities and outcomes?

We can strengthen Quester traits. Questers are described in the award winning, Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life, by Dr. Carole Kanchier:

Questers

Who are Questers? What personality traits give them confidence and courage to create and succeed in their desired life careers in uncertain times?
Questers have been around for centuries. Famous Questers include Socrates, Galileo Galilei, Marie Curie, Nelson Mandela, Elon Musk, and J.K. Rowling.

Yet, many Questers are folks who have courage and confidence to pursue their dreams. Samat came to North America from China when she was 28. Because she studied computer programming and learned English in China, it was relatively easy to find a programming job.

Questers create work that’s in harmony with their purpose. As a child, Fred loved fixing things so he studied mechanical engineering. He had been promoted to senior management within a large organization, but wasn’t happy. So, he pursued his purpose, “fixing things” by becoming a maintenance manager in a large apartment complex. “If you’re doing something you like, it’s not really work, and you’re making money…”  Fred radiates joy.

Questers measure success internally. Some may think Fred moved down the occupational prestige ladder, but Fred believes he moved up the ladder of success and satisfaction. Fred enjoys his work, is productive, and sets high standards.

Attuned to changes within and around them, Questers anticipate layoffs and know voluntary and involuntary career changes are a normal part of growth. Therefore, quitting a job during a recession may be smart. While his colleagues worried about being laid off, Mike upgraded his skills and contacted employers. He was offered a job the day he received his pink slip.

Not all Questers live to work. Some work to live.  Lorrie’s calling is to enjoy life. “I work to support my lifestyle…Although I get satisfaction from doing a good job, I devote my life to hobbies and volunteer activities.”

Retirement is obsolete to Questers. John, a professor, says; “I could retire, but choose not to because work is too much fun…”If I wasn’t paid, I would continue to work. If I retire, there is only one thing left!

We’re all born Questers. However, as we grow older, societal institutions impede development of Quester traits.  Fortunately, we retain Quester traits within and can strengthen these, if we desire.

Are You a Quester? Complete the Quester Quiz.

Nurturing the Quester Spirit

– Clarify purpose. Identify themes: absorbing childhood activities, proud accomplishments, when you’re most energized, a favorite Halloween costume.

– Be authentic. Do what’s right for you. Ensure actions are consistent with thoughts and feeling. Set goals in harmony with your purpose.

– Build confidence. Focus on the positive. Avoid, “I can’t.”  Don’t compare yourself with others. Judge accomplishments against personal standards and strive for excellence.

– Continue to learn. Read, take courses, volunteer. Challenge conventional beliefs. Recognize and seize opportunities. Find better ways to do things. Try! Place no limitations on yourself.

– Strengthen courage to risk. Review three successful risks taken. Note what made these successful. Identify perceived barriers for taking another risk and explore ways to overcome these.

–  Manage fear. Identify worrisome issues. Minimize these by researching relevant information and resources. Live in the present. Let go of “attachments.” Form a support system.

Create a life in which you can continue to learn, grow, and have choices. Life is an opportunity, take it, life is an adventure, dare it!

 Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life shows how to succeed https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963
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