© Carole Kanchier, PhD

VETERANS DAY

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2020

In Flanders Fields

In celebration of our veterans on Veterans’ Day in Canada, I am sharing this poem by John McCrae, to honor of our brave, selfless veterans who gave their lives for world peace. May they rest in peace.

In Flanders Fields, by John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
 
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.
 
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

“In Flanders Fields” is a war poem written during the First World War by Canadian physician Lieutenant-Colonel John McCrae. He was inspired to write it on May 3, 1915, after presiding over the funeral of friend and fellow soldier Lieutenant Alexis Helmer, who died in the Second Battle of Ypres. “In Flanders Fields” was first published on December 8 of that year in the London magazine, Punch.

It is one of the most quoted poems from the war. As a result of its immediate popularity, parts of the poem were used in efforts and appeals to recruit soldiers and raise money selling war bonds. Its references to the red poppies that grew over the graves of fallen soldiers resulted in the remembrance poppy becoming one of the world’s most recognized memorial symbols for soldiers who have died in conflict. The poem and poppy are prominent Remembrance Day and Veterans Day symbols for soldiers who have died in combat.

Veterans’ Day is an official United States, United Kingdom, and Canadian public holiday, observed annually on November 11, that honors military veterans who served in their countries’ Armed Forces.

Major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918, when the Armistice with Germany went into effect.

God bless our veterans for their services and sacrifices they and their families make year-round. How do you plan to honor our veterans?

Author Bio: Carole Kanchier, PhD, is an internationally recognized newspaper/digital columnist, coach, psychologist and author of award-winning, Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life.  https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963  Carole. Kanchier has taught at University of California, Berkeley and Santa Cruz and University of Alberta, and other institutions of higher learning, and consults with individuals and organizations. Dr. Kanchier is known for her pioneering, interdisciplinary approach to human potential.

Contact Carole: carole@daretochange.com; http://www.questersdaretochange.com

© Carole Kanchier, PhD

carole@daretochange.com

NOV. 9, 2020

DOES YOUR CAREER EXPRESS YOUR PURPOSE?

“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.” ―John F. Kennedy

Having a sense of purpose and striving towards goals that enable you to express your purpose gives life meaning, direction and satisfaction. It not only contributes to health and longevity, but also enables you to succeed in uncertain times. If you’re in harmony with your purpose, you’re also in sync with the energy of the universe.

Do you know your purpose?

Answer yes or no:

1. Facing my daily tasks is very satisfying.

2. I have clear career and life goals.

3. My life has been worthless.

4. I enjoy my close friends.

5. I wouldn’t change my life drastically if I had six months to live.

6. I have seriously thought of suicide.

7. I see a reason to be here.

8. My job and other activities give my life meaning.

9. I have little meaning in my life.

10. I spend my life doing what I “should” rather than what I want.

11. My job reflects my purpose.

12. I can state my purpose in a sentence.

Scoring: One for each “no” to statements 3, 6, 9 and 10; and one for each “yes” to others. The higher you score, the more involved you are in activities that give you a sense of meaning, direction and happiness. You’re honest with yourself, enjoy life, and are probably achieving desired goals. Your various work, leisure and other activities reflect a unity of purpose.

A score of 6 or lower suggests you lack a clear sense of purpose. Your life may have little meaning and you appear to lack clear life or career goals. You may be bored, anxious, and aimless. To develop more meaning in your life, try the following.

Clarifying Purpose

Identifying your purpose will take time particularly if you’re not used to looking inward.

– Identify what’s important to you. Clarify what success means to you. Don’t try to live up to others’ expectations and definitions of success.

– Consider how you’d change your life if you knew you had six months to live. If you would change jobs, return to school, complete a project, travel, then get on with it! What’s stopping you? Be honest.

– State what you’d do if you had billions. If you’re working at something that has no meaning just to pay bills, you’re making money more important than your sense of purpose. How could you make money doing what you really enjoy? Ross, a former accountant, earns lot of money making and selling his pottery.

–  Identify personality traits you would choose if you could begin life today. Would you be more assertive, caring or other?

– Describe yourself without using labels. Specify human qualities, for example: “I am smart, creative, and a loving partner.” If you resort to labels such as job history or marital status, you may view yourself as a statistic rather than a special human being.

– Adopt a cause. Discover ways in which you can get involved in community or other projects in which you believe — that enable you to express your purpose. Volunteer to help in a senior citizens’ home, volunteer to be big sister or bother, join a community fire fighting or group that fights for a cause in which you believe.

–  Identify major themes or patterns: 1) Proud accomplishments in any life area (social, work, school, civic); 2) What you want colleagues to say about you; 3) Absorbing childhood activities; 4) Recurring dream; 5) What you’d do if you couldn’t fail; 6) A prize you’d select (literary, athletic) for being the world’s best; 7) What you’d wear to a costume party; 8) People you admire and why; 9) Skills you want to use in your ideal job.

Write a “working” mission statement describing your purpose based on recurring themes. Discuss your themes with a partner. Brainstorm how your purpose can be expressed in various life components. For example, if your purpose is to help others, you could express it at work by being a helpful sales clerk. In family activities, you may express your purpose by being a loving aunt. Don’t allow age, lack of education, or physical disability stop you from expressing your purpose.

Dick’s purpose is communications. He’s been a successful magazine editor, author, broadcaster, photographer and evangelist. Charlene’s purpose is caring for animals. She’s made this into her business — caring for pets during their families’ vacations and waking dogs.

Barbara loves woodworking and cabinet making so she developed a business that enables her to offer these services to her community. Roy‘s purpose is helping people. He says, “Volunteers are unpaid not because they are worthless, but because they are priceless.” Roy volunteers for varied projects that help needy children.

Purpose is a common denominator for success. Knowing your purpose will give you courage to do what you’ve always longed to do. It will be easier to risk, to manage fear. You’ll be able to change your life for the better.

But before pursuing a job that will enable you to express your purpose, research options. Then clarify a job goal that will enable you to express your purpose, and develop a plan to attain your goal. Be flexible as your goals may change as you get to know yourself and options better.

“Singleness of purpose is one of the chief essentials for success in life, no matter what may be one’s aim.” ―John D. Rockefeller

Author, Dr. Carole Kanchier pioneered the concept of purpose in her work on lifelong career, personal, and spiritual growth. A registered psychologist, coach, educator and syndicated print/digital columnist, Carole is author of award-winning, Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Your Life: http://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963    

Dr. Kanchier offers workshops, keynotes and individual coaching to help individuals and organizations clarify and express their purpose: carole@questersdaretochange.com

© Carole Kanchier, PhD

Millennials and the Age-30 Transition

Are you a millennial between ages 18 to 34? Are wondering what to do with your life?

If so, you may be experiencing the Age-30 transition. This transition from late adolescence to adulthood, is extending in length due to changing economic, technological and societal uncertainties.

During this critical period, you assess who you are and what you want to do. You can now think in abstract terms, look at reality from many angles, and consider the implications of your decisions. You may also look at time differently.  You become aware that life is finite, but you still have time to do it all!

In North America, you are given permission to take time out, delay commitments. You experiment with romantic attractions, work at odd jobs, or try different courses in your first years at college. Adult responsibilities are put on hold so that you can feel free to experiment, explore. Flexible and inner-directed, you may be unlikely to subscribe to authoritarian values.

Ellen studied law because her parents were lawyers, but learned that she had no interest in working in the field. So she too time out to travel, to rethink the direction of her life. Ellen returned from her moratorium with greater self-understanding, and renewed confidence and energy to pursue her self determined career choice, public health nursing.

Recent Census data in both Canada and the U.S. show that 30-year olds today, as compared to those aged-30 in 1975, are less likely to have hit many milestones that have defined adulthood in past decades.

In 1975, the majority of 30-year-olds were working, married, living away from their parents, and had a child. Now millennials, between ages 18 to 34, are living more like the adolescents of the 1970s and earlier. Many are living at home with parents.

Millennials are delaying marriage and family longer than previous generations. Many say they don’t want children. The birth rate for women in their 20s is the slowest of any generation of young women in U.S. history. Perhaps because of their slow journey to marriage, millennials lead all generations in their share of out-of-wedlock births. According to a recent Pew Research Center survey, in 2012, 47 percent of births to women in the millennial generation were non-marital, compared with 21 percent among older women. Some of this gap reflects a lifecycle effect—older women have always been less likely to give birth outside of marriage. But the gap is also driven by a shift in behaviors in recent decades.

The Pew survey also reports many millennials are relatively unattached to organized politics and religion. Linked by social media, burdened by student debt, poverty and unemployment, they are in no rush to marry. Those with lower levels of income and education, lack what they deem to be a necessary prerequisite to marriage – a solid economic foundation.

Liberalism is apparent in millenials’ views on a range of social issues such as same-sex marriage, interracial marriage and marijuana legalization. However, their views on other social issues, including abortion and gun control, are not much different from those of older adults.

Millennials are also North America’s most racially diverse generation, a trend driven by large waves of Hispanic and Asian immigrants who have been coming to North America for the past half century.

Despite their financial burdens, millennials tend to be economic optimists. The Pew survey reports that more than eight-in-ten say they either currently have enough money to lead the lives they want, or expect to live in the future. Some of this optimism may reflect the timeless confidence of youth.

Millennials are less likely than older generations to be affiliated with any religion. However, the majority believe that God exists.

The road ahead for millennials is exhilarating, conflicting, and sometimes overwhelming. The major psychological tasks of this generation, according to Erik Erikson, pioneer of life cycle theory and identity development, is attaining a mature identity. This requires exploring several options before choosing among life’s alternatives; and then committing to choices, at least for a while.

Managing the Age-30 Transition

If you are experiencing the Age-30 Transition, ask yourself:

– What is my dream job?

– What needs and values do I want to express in this job?

– What skills do I want to use?

– What job tasks do I want to perform?

– How much responsibility do I want (senior management, good team contributor)

– What is my ideal salary?

– Where would I like to work (downtown in a large city, rural community, in my home)

– Where can I get additional information about my career and lifestyle options?

To learn more about your desired career and lifestyle options, conduct research. Public libraries, educational institutions, private organizations, the internet, and informational interviews with professionals in your fields of interest are good places to start.

Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life, by Dr. Carole Kanchier, is full of real life examples, quizzes and guidelines that show how to make wise life career decisions at age-30 and throughout life. https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/15r-Life/dp/08408963  

Check audible edition: htps://www.audible.com/pd/Questers-Dare-to-Change-Your-Job-and-Life-Audiobook/B07VZNKGJF?asin=B07VZNKGJF&ipRedirectOverride=true&overrideBaseCountry=true&pf_rd_p=34883c04-32e5-4474-a65d-0ba68f4635d3&pf_rd_r=TN801GRP49AWQSSYMDYC1

A complementary copy of chapter 1, Questers Dare to Change, is available from Dr. Kanchier’s web site: www.questersdaretochange.com

Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life, by Carole Kanchier, will help you clarify life career goals, and develop a master plan for moving forward. Get a copy of Questers Dare to Change: https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/15r-Life/dp/08408963  

 Author Bio: Carole Kanchier, PhD, is an internationally recognized newspaper/digital columnist, registered psychologist, keynote speaker, coach and author of award winning, Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life.  Kanchier has taught at University of California, Berkeley and Santa Cruz, University of Alberta, and other institutions of higher learning, and worked with varied individual and organizational clients. Dr. Kanchier is known for her pioneering, interdisciplinary approach to human potential. Carole is available for consultations and interviews

 

Contact: carole@daretochange.com; carole@questersdaretochange.com; www.questersdaretochange.com

3 Tips for Minimizing #JobBurnout

– Recognize burnout is preventable, treatable, and a catalyst for growth.

– Respect yourself, establish your own standards of excellence, and do something challenging each day.

– Lead a balanced life, manage time, develop supportive relationships, and exercise daily.

Award-winning, Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life, provides additional career and personal growth tips for advancing life career: https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963

Check audio book: https://www.audible.com/pd/Questers-Dare-to-Change-Your-Job-and-Life-Audiobook/B07VZNKGJF?asin=B07VZNKGJF&ipRedirectOverride=true&overrideBaseCountry=true&pf_rd_p=34883c04-32e5-4474-a65d-0ba68f4635d3&pf_rd_r=TN801GRP49AWQSSYMDYC1

Contact: carole@questersdaretochange.com; www.questersdaretochange.com

Award-winning, Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life, provides additional career and personal growth tips for advancing life career: https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963

Contact: carole@questersdaretochange.com

https://www.audible.com/pd/Questers-Dare-to-Change-Your-Job-and-Life-Audiobook/B07VZNKGJF?asin=B07VZNKGJF&ipRedirectOverride=true&overrideBaseCountry=true&pf_rd_p=34883c04-32e5-4474-a65d-0ba68f4635d3&pf_rd_r=TN801GRP49AWQSSYMDYC1

3 Tips for Practising #Integrity at Work

– Be honest. trustworthy, accountable, maintain confidentially

– Adhere to Golden Rule

– Work diligently, follow company policies

Award-winning, Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life, provides additional tips for growing personally and professionally : https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963.

Get the audible version: https://www.audible.com/pd/Questers-Dare-to-Change-Your-Job-and-Life-Audiobook/B07VZNKGJF?asin=B07VZNKGJF&ipRedirectOverride=true&overrideBaseCountry=true&pf_rd_p=34883c04-32e5-4474-a65d-0ba68f4635d3&pf_rd_r=TN801GRP49AWQSSYMDYC1

Contact Carole- carole@questersdaretochange.com

http://www.questersdaretochange.com/blog/2019/02/14/3-tips-for-attaining-desired-job/

© Carole Kanchier, PhD

Most successful people have learned to risk. The good feelings that result from taking a risk can be incredible. You see yourself as a survivor. You force yourself to grow by calling on abilities you haven’t used. Achieving your goal will enhance your sense of accomplishment, self-confidence and knowledge.

What does this quiz say about you?

Answer “yes” or “no.”

1. I often wish people would be more definite.

2. When I want something, I’ll go out on a limb for it.

3. If the possible reward is very high, I would put money into a business that could fail.

4. I like to plan my activities.

5. I enjoy taking risks.

6. I prefer job challenge to job security.

7. I enjoy working on problems that have ambiguous answers.

8. I accept the possibility of failure.

9. It bothers me when something unexpected interrupts my routine.

10. I trust decisions I make spontaneously.

11. In games, I usually go for broke.

12. Once my mind is made up, that’s it.

13. I’m in favor of very strict enforcement of laws regardless of the consequences.

14. I try to avoid situations that have uncertain outcomes.

15. I would not borrow money for a business deal even if it might be profitable.

Scoring: 2 points for responding “yes” to each of the following statements: 2, 3, 5, 6,  7, 8, 10, and 11.

A score of 10 or higher, suggests you enjoy taking risks. You are autonomous, like challenge, are confident, flexible and open to new experiences. However, if your score is 14 or more, your desire to risk may sometimes be extreme. A score of 4 to 8 suggests you may be open to some new experiences, but are overly organized or rigid in other areas. If you scored 3 or lower, you prefer a secure, well-ordered lifestyle.

Risk taking tips

If you want to develop your full potential, learn to take planned risks. Try some of the following:

— Make small changes first. This enables you to develop confidence and trust. You can then move on to more major decisions. Experiment with a different hair style or food. Change your routine. At work, offer new ways of tackling a job.

— Have a goal. A risk without a clear purpose can backfire. Focus on things you can change.  Have positive expectations, do your homework, know the pros and cons, and listen to your intuition.

— Believe in yourself. Affirm yourself. Replace any negative thoughts or statements with positive ones. Avoid phrases such as, “I can’t,” “I will never. …”

— Turn failure or crises into growth opportunities. Consider “failure” a temporary setback. Depersonalize setbacks. Learn from these. Ask yourself what you would do differently and then make the necessary modifications.

— Look upon something new as an exciting opportunity to challenge yourself andto grow. If you don’t try, how will you ever find out if you can do it?

— Balance tentativeness with commitment. Set goals but don’t write these in stone. Be open to new experiences.

— Establish a support group. Confide in and ask for help from supportive family or friends. Associate with positive people.

— Describe barriers that are blocking you from making a desired change. For example, Personal Barriers include fear of loss of a secure income; fear of failure (such as starting a new job); fear of what others will think; fear of success; and guilt that change might create family hardships.

Societal Barriers include old notions of “career”; outdated retirement policies; traditional gender roles; and blocks imposed by educational institutions, unions and professional associations.

— Complete the Fantasy Risk Exercise: Think of an important risk you would like to take.  What appeals to you about taking this risk? What would you gain?  What is frightening about this risk? What will you lose?  What’s the worst thing that could happen if it turned out badly? If the worst happened, what would you do?

Where could you get information to pursue this risk? From whom could you get support? What could you do to make this less risky? Less irreversible? 

If you broke the risk into small steps, what would the first step be? How soon could you take it? Do this for each step. Evaluate the outcome of the risk. Did it turn out as expected? If not, why? What have you learned?

Celebrate your success whether or not it turned out as expected. Gradually, you will see yourself as a risk taker.

Creating a life worth living and finding the courage to risk pursuing you dreams isn’t easy, but you can do it! Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life shows how!

Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life  helps you clarify life career goals, and develop a master plan for moving forward. Get a copy of Questers Dare to Change: https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/15r-Life/dp/08408963  

 Author Bio: Carole Kanchier, PhD, is an internationally recognized newspaper/digital columnist, registered psychologist, keynote speaker, coach and author of award winning, Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life.  Kanchier has taught at University of California, Berkeley and Santa Cruz, University of Alberta, and other institutions of higher learning, and worked with varied individual and organizational clients. Dr. Kanchier is known for her pioneering, interdisciplinary approach to human potential. Carole is available for consultations and interviews

 

Contact: carole@daretochange.com; carole@questersdaretochange.com; http://www.questersdaretochange.com

© Carole Kanchier, PhD A

Telephone Skills Key to Success

The telephone is the most common business tool and its proper use is essential for career advancement. 

Talking with a potential client, customer or colleague on the phone can sometimes be challenging. Without seeing an individual’s face, messages can become muddled and meanings misinterpreted.

Are you telephone savvy?

When you make calls do you:

1. State your message briefly and clearly?

2. Leave your name, organization and phone number, repeating these twice, slowly and clearly?

3. Give the full name of the person for whom you’re leaving the message?

4. State the date and time of the call?

5. State whether you’ll call back or you’d like the other person to call?

7. Ask for a return call at a time you’ll be available?

When you receive calls, do you:

8. Identify yourself?

9. Use courtesies such as “Please hold while I complete another call.”

10. Offer to take messages when you’re answering for someone?

11. Repeat the caller’s name and number to make sure they’re correct?

12. Speak in a professional manner? 

13. Does your answering machine have a pleasant, professional and courteous message? Leave a good impression?

Scoring: One point for each yes. The higher your score, the more positive telephone skills you possess. A score of 9 or less suggests you should enhance your skills.

Review telephone basics

1. Knowledge: Before you make a call have the required information.

2. Goals: Know what you want to accomplish.

3. Attitude: Make the person feel you’re interested in him and the message.

– Make a great first impression. Show the caller you’re helpful, confident and competent. If a potential employer’s first contact is over the phone, she gets cues from your voice. What kind of impression are you giving?

Influence your listener’s reactions by controlling the pace, pitch, inflection and tone of your voice.  Strive for an energy level that matches your normal conversation. A soft voice suggests shyness or uncertainty; a loud voice implies anger or worry. Be alert to your caller’s needs. If he’s having trouble hearing, speak louder, more slowly.

Speak briskly but pronounce words clearly. When you talk too fast, you sound hurried or excited and are difficult to understand; when you too speak slowly, you sound tired, lazy or uninterested.

Inflection adds special meaning to your message. If, for example, you say, “John needs help with his resume this afternoon,” you’re suggesting John needs help. If you say, “John needs help with his resume — this afternoon, —  your indicating he needs help this afternoon.

Different tones of voice can make us feel differently — happy, angry, hurt, etc. Keep your tone attentive, interested and friendly. Smiling adds a pleasant tone to your voice.

– Be courteous, respectful. People are turned off by careless or rude remarks. Always say hello and identify yourself. Ask how you can help. Use courtesy words, “Thank you for waiting.”  If you need to put the caller on hold, ask, and wait for an answer. If you need to phone back, indicate when you’ll call.

End the call positively, for example, “Thanks for calling.”  Let the caller hang up first. This gives him control of the ending as well as an opportunity to ask further questions. Don’t eat, drink, or chew gum.

– Leave clear, concise messages. State your name and phone number. Repeat these twice. Give the name of the person you’re calling and date and time you called. If the person doesn’t return your call, phone again a few days later. For other message skills, review the telephone savvy questions.

 If an employer calls, and you’re not prepared for the session, ask the employer if you can return the call, or if he can call back at a mutually convenient time. This gives you time to prepare.

Keep the forgoing in mind when you call or receive phone calls. Your confidence and career advancement will improve as you hone your phone skills. Next week part 2 of telephone skills will be posted.

Additional tips for strengthening telephone and other job skills are discussed in award winning, Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life: http://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963    

Visit Carole Kanchier’s blog for more tips to enhance personal and professional growth. http://www.questersdaretochange.com/blog 

Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life, by Carole Kanchier, PhD, will help you clarify life career goals, and develop a master plan for moving forward. Get a copy of Questers Dare to Change: https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/15r-Life/dp/08408963  

 Author Bio: Carole Kanchier, PhD, is an internationally recognized newspaper/digital columnist, registered psychologist, keynote speaker, coach and author of award winning, Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life.  Kanchier has taught at University of California, Berkeley and Santa Cruz, University of Alberta, and other institutions of higher learning, and worked with varied individual and organizational clients. Dr. Kanchier is known for her pioneering, interdisciplinary approach to human potential. Carole is available for consultations and interviews

 

Contact: carole@daretochange.com; carole@questersdaretochange.com; http://www.questersdaretochange.com

#Trust in the #Workplace

© Carole Kanchier, PhD

TRUST IN THE WORKPLACE

“The people when rightfully and fully trusted will return the trust.” Abraham Lincoln

Trust is an essential element of a work relationship. Trust may take time to develop but easy to lose.

Examples of trust include having faith that a colleague will complete his or her part of an assigned project or relying on a supervisor’s promise of a promotion by a specific date.

Betrayal is a loss of trust that can stem from subtle actions, like telling a white lie, to large scandals such as embezzlement. Feelings of betrayal can occur when there is dishonesty or perceived dishonesty and can coincide with feelings of disappointment or unmet expectations. Examples of betrayal include layoffs in a department after promises of job security, and belittling a co-worker.

A betrayal of trust, minor or unintentional, can diminish employee confidence, alienate workers from their peers, add communication roadblocks, affect decision-making and hold back worker creativity.

Failure to address and resolve a betrayal promotes a culture of distrust that can lead to greater betrayals

Trust elevates levels of commitment and sustains effort and productivity without the need for management control.  Studies show that trust-based working relationships give organizations a competitive advantage. A leader’s level of trust is contingent upon the employee’s perceptions of the leader’s integrity, benevolence and ability.

Building Trust

Trust requires mutual commitment. Trust is built through honesty, integrity and consistency in relationships. Although it requires mutual commitment and effort, there are several ways individuals can act on their own to initiate trust.

– Attend to what is happening in the work environment. Listen and learn what caused the broken trust relationship, and the impact on those affected.

– Allow feelings to surface. When people are in pain, they need to be heard and given support. Sometimes just talking with a trusted friend or colleague is good therapy; other times professional assistance may be required.

– Take responsibility for betrayal of trust in a given situation, then list ways you can change your behavior in a subsequent happening.

– Behave consistently and predictably. Ensure that your words and subsequent actions are congruent, and honor commitments. Integrity is reinforced to the extent that you do what you say you will do.

– Perform competently. Continuously strive to demonstrate excellence in performing your responsibilities.

– Communicate face-to-face, if feasible. Studies suggest that perpetual electronic communication such as emails can make workers feel disconnected. This suggests visual cues and personal and group meetings are important for building trust.

– Communicate accurately, openly and transparently. Be explicit and direct about your intentions. State what you need or expect. Don’t assume others know what to do.

Tactfully air problems and seek win-win resolutions. When engaged in an ongoing project with others, communicate progress.

– Show respect and concern for others. Demonstrate sensitivity to peoples’ needs, desires and interests. Be genuine, friendly.

Understand what trust means in different cultures.Get to know people better by engaging in social activities. This helps to strengthen common qualities and minimize false stereotypes.

– Forgive. This helps to free you from anger, bitterness, and resentment. Let go and move on.

– Write a letter to someone you distrust. List your reasons for not trusting. Share feelings and irrational beliefs that block trust, and ask the person to help you resolve the issue. Tell the person what you’re willing to do (and not do) to improve a given situation. When you’ve completed the letter, send it, save it or tear it up. Note what you’ve learned and how you can apply the knowledge to a work situation.

– Create a healthy work environment. Minimize competition and encourage cooperation and teamwork.  Solicit input and share decision making. 

Propose joint products, services and activities that define common goals. Working toward the collective achievement of goals fosters a feeling of commonality that can strengthen a shared identity, reduce divisiveness and encourage teamwork. So does engaging in discussion and actions that build a sense of “we” rather than “me.” Recognize others’ contributions and demonstrate confidence in their abilities. Share credit.

– List things you can do to build trust with an associate or acquaintance you currently mistrust. Share your ideas with a trusted friend or co-worker.

– Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life offers additional suggestions for building trust: https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963

Dr. Carole Kanchier, registered psychologist, career and personal growth expert, and author of the award winning, Questers Dare to Change inspires people to realize their potential and look at career growth in new ways. Dr. Kanchier pioneered the unique model of lifelong personal and professional growth which she shares in Questers Dare to Change.  http://www.questersdaretochange.com.

© Carole Kanchier, PhD

#Trust in the #Workplace

“The people when rightfully and fully trusted will return the trust.” Abraham Lincoln

Trust is an essential element of a work relationship. Trust may take time to develop but easy to lose.

Examples of trust include having faith that a colleague will complete his or her part of an assigned project or relying on a supervisor’s promise of a promotion by a specific date.

Betrayal is a loss of trust that can stem from subtle actions, like telling a white lie, to large scandals such as embezzlement. Feelings of betrayal can occur when there is dishonesty or perceived dishonesty and can coincide with feelings of disappointment or unmet expectations. Examples of betrayal include layoffs in a department after promises of job security, and belittling a co-worker.

A betrayal of trust, minor or unintentional, can diminish employee confidence, alienate workers from their peers, add communication roadblocks, affect decision-making and hold back worker creativity.

Failure to address and resolve a betrayal promotes a culture of distrust that can lead to greater betrayals

Trust elevates levels of commitment and sustains effort and productivity without the need for management control.  Studies show that trust-based working relationships give organizations a competitive advantage. A leader’s level of trust is contingent upon the employee’s perceptions of the leader’s integrity, benevolence and ability.

Building Trust

Trust requires mutual commitment. Trust is built through honesty, integrity and consistency in relationships. Although it requires mutual commitment and effort, there are several ways individuals can act on their own to initiate trust.

– Attend to what is happening in the work environment. Listen and learn what caused the broken trust relationship, and the impact on those affected.

– Allow feelings to surface. When people are in pain, they need to be heard and given support. Sometimes just talking with a trusted friend or colleague is good therapy; other times professional assistance may be required.

– Take responsibility for betrayal of trust in a given situation, then list ways you can change your behavior in a subsequent happening.

– Behave consistently and predictably. Ensure that your words and subsequent actions are congruent, and honor commitments. Integrity is reinforced to the extent that you do what you say you will do.

– Perform competently. Continuously strive to demonstrate excellence in performing your responsibilities.

– Communicate face-to-face, if feasible. Studies suggest that perpetual electronic communication such as emails can make workers feel disconnected. This suggests visual cues and personal and group meetings are important for building trust.

– Communicate accurately, openly and transparently. Be explicit and direct about your intentions. State what you need or expect. Don’t assume others know what to do.

Tactfully air problems and seek win-win resolutions. When engaged in an ongoing project with others, communicate progress.

– Show respect and concern for others. Demonstrate sensitivity to peoples’ needs, desires and interests. Be genuine, friendly.

Understand what trust means in different cultures.Get to know people better by engaging in social activities. This helps to strengthen common qualities and minimize false stereotypes.

– Forgive. This helps to free you from anger, bitterness, and resentment. Let go and move on.

– Write a letter to someone you distrust. List your reasons for not trusting. Share feelings and irrational beliefs that block trust, and ask the person to help you resolve the issue. Tell the person what you’re willing to do (and not do) to improve a given situation. When you’ve completed the letter, send it, save it or tear it up. Note what you’ve learned and how you can apply the knowledge to a work situation.

– Create a healthy work environment. Minimize competition and encourage cooperation and teamwork.  Solicit input and share decision making. 

Propose joint products, services and activities that define common goals. Working toward the collective achievement of goals fosters a feeling of commonality that can strengthen a shared identity, reduce divisiveness and encourage teamwork. So does engaging in discussion and actions that build a sense of “we” rather than “me.” Recognize others’ contributions and demonstrate confidence in their abilities. Share credit.

– List things you can do to build trust with an associate or acquaintance you currently mistrust. Share your ideas with a trusted friend or co-worker.

– Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life offers additional suggestions for building trust: https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963

Dr. Carole Kanchier, registered psychologist, career and personal growth expert, and author of the award winning, Questers Dare to Change inspires people to realize their potential and look at career growth in new ways. Dr. Kanchier pioneered the unique model of lifelong personal and professional growth which she shares in Questers Dare to Change.  http://www.questersdaretochange.com.

© Carole Kanchier, PhD

Does Birth Order Influence Career Decision Making?

Are you the eldest, middle, youngest or only child?  Do you think your position in the family affects your career development?

Birth order is defined as a person’s rank by age among his or her brothers and sisters.  Many researchers state that birth order influences our personality, intelligence, career choice and success. Oldest, youngest, middle, only children and twins develop distinctive personality traits because each experiences the family differently.

 

Austrian psychologist, Alfred Adler (1870–1937) pioneered the study of birth order which continues to interest researchers today. Adler believed that humans have a strong need to be accepted and valued, and that family is the first social group in which people strive for belonging.

 

Children in any given family each strive for their parents’ love, attention and resources. And depending on where a child falls in the family, he or she responds differently. Factors that influence personality development are not about ordinal position, rather the interpretation the child gives to the position.

The importance of birth order is an ongoing argument among social scientists. Personality and career development may be influenced by a number of factors including childhood illness or trauma, five or more years between two children, large family, divorce, blended families, and being the only girl in a family of boys or vice versa. Economics, family moves, death of a parent and grandparents moving into the family circle may also create different experiences and interpretations.

Numerous researchers have demonstrated how birth order is related to career selection and success. Twenty-one of the first 23 astronauts were first borns, and over half the United States presidents have been first born.  First borns are also over-represented among US Supreme Court justices, Rhodes Scholars, academics, physicians, leading scientists, and Ivy league universities.  

There are no good or bad birth order positions. Each has advantages and disadvantages. Where do you fit?

Eldest Child. In general, first borns are responsible, assertive, task-oriented, perfectionists and supporters of authority. They get leading and mentoring experience by looking after younger siblings.

First borns learn that if they follow parents’ wishes they gain approval. They acquire status by working hard and not making waves.  Conservative conformists, first borns are conscientious, serious, logical, scholarly and status conscious. They tend to have higher academic achievement and possibly higher intelligence scores than later borns.

First borns often choose occupations that require precision, such as careers in science, medicine, law, engineering, computer science or accounting. Political and business leaders, journalists, executive secretaries and bookkeepers are also popular careers. Famous first borns include Winston Churchill, Bill and Hillary Clinton, and Oprah Winfrey.

Middle Children.  Middle borns are generally independent nonconformists. Competition with siblings tends to make them noncompetitive and diplomatic.Often even-tempered, they may assume a take it or leave it attitude. Less fearful and anxious than first borns, some have maverick tendencies.

Many are socially skilled because they have learned to negotiate and compromise. They’re creative, adaptive, and tend to be good listeners. They can create harmonious interpersonal relationships, and achieve success from superior teamwork.

Some middle children capitalize on the injustices they feel as children and become trial lawyers or social activists. Popular occupations selected by them include entrepreneur, social worker, mediator, middle level manager and real estate agent. George Washington, John F. Kennedy, Madonna and Alfred Adler are middle borns.

— Youngest Child.  Later borns are typically more gregarious, carefree, affectionate and persuasive than firstborns. They’re open to new experiences and may be manipulative, using charm to get their way. Parents may have lower expectations for their sometimes spoiled youngest children.

Later borns tend to gravitate to occupations that are people or performance-oriented. Some have the need to contribute to humankind. Popular careers include actor, newspaper reporter, talk show host, comedian, psychologist, telephone solicitor, sales person, disc jockey, entertainer and teacher. Famous last borns include Celine Dion, Billy Crystal, Sarah Ferguson and Rosie O’Donnel.

— Only Child. Often classified with first borns, only children tend to be highly motivated, confident, achievement- orientated, but noncompetitive. Self-sufficient, they learn to entertain themselves early. Many attend college and achieve academic success. They may be creative, but can be self-centered. Like pampered last borns, they may rely on service from others rather than exert their own efforts. They may be overprotected and perfectionists.

Career choices of only children are similar to those of first borns. Famous only children include Robin Williams, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Drew Barrymore, Courtney Love and Frank Sinatra.

Has birth order affected your personality and career success? Do you want to strengthen certain traits?

Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life by Dr. Carole Kanchier, shows how to and move forward in your life career: https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963

Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life, by Carole Kanchier, PhD, shows how to strengthen desired qualities, clarify life career goals, and develop a master plan for moving forward. Get a copy of Questers Dare to Change: https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/15r-Life/dp/08408963.

Author: Carole Kanchier, PhD, is an internationally recognized newspaper/digital columnist, registered psychologist, keynote speaker, coach and author of award winning, Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life.  Kanchier has taught at University of California, Berkeley and Santa Cruz, University of Alberta, and other institutions of higher learning, and worked with varied individual and organizational clients. Dr. Kanchier is known for her pioneering, interdisciplinary approach to human potential. Carole is available for consultations and interviews

 

Contact: carole@daretochange.com; carole@questersdaretochange.com; http://www.questersdaretochange.com