In the movie, “Star Wars,” Obi Wan-Kenobi gave Luke Skywalker a sword that seemed to have magical powers. The sword was useless to Luke when he lacked confidence in his abilities. But when Luke realized that he had the magical powers within to create his own perception of reality, he wielded the sword with confidence and accuracy.
Do you believe you have control over your life career?
Indicate T or F.
1. I didn’t get the position because I didn’t prepare for the interview.
2. When I trust my judgment I make wrong decisions.
3. I can solve most of my problems.
4. I’m often a victim of circumstance.
5. I can get any job I want if it’s congruent with my personal qualities and I persist in pursuing it.
6. I’m too old to go back to school.
7. I can learn new skills if I try.
8. I avoid challenges.
9. If I studied hard at school, I got good grades.
10. I don’t perform well under stress.
Scoring; One for each T for odd numbered statements, and one for each F for even numbered ones. Add scores. The higher your score the more you believe you have control over your life. You assume responsibility for your ideas, subsequent actions and consequences.
Take charge
To start taking more control of your career, confront self-limiting beliefs, thoughts, words and behaviors. Pay attention to your language patterns. They influence your conception of reality and affirm your inherent personal power.
Look at the speech patterns below that express dependence and helplessness or independence and control. Choose those that demonstrate choice and responsibility.
– Differentiate between knowing and imagining.
You haven’t given your supervisor a report that was due three days ago. You say to yourself, “He stressed how important it was to submit it on time. He’ll be furious.” How does your internal dialogue continue?
a. “I wonder how I can slip it on his desk without seeing him?”
b. “I don’t really know he’ll be furious. … I’m imagining this. What really happens may be different.”
c. “I’ll take my lumps. I’m late.”
If you chose b you distinguished between knowing with imagining. We can make educated guesses about peoples’ future behaviors based on past experience. But we can also scare ourselves by imagining a negative scenario and convincing ourselves it will occur. Don’t live in a world of untested assumptions. Look for and expect positive outcomes.
– Differentiate between can’t (inability) and won’t (emotional choice).
As you’re finishing work, a colleague invites you to discuss a new job opportunity. You say, “I’d like to but I have to participate at the meeting. Thanks anyway.” When he leaves, you talk to yourself.
a. “I don’t have to go to that meeting. I’m choosing to go even though I’d rather find out about that job.”
b. “Rats, another stupid session when there’s no time to get anything accomplished.”
c. “I have so many clerical tasks to complete that I never have time to look after my career development.”
In selecting a, you’re choosing to affirm that you have a choice, even when you select the same option. We often choose to do things because of the negative consequences of not doing them (getting fired if we don’t choose to work). However, this is still a choice.
When you say, “I choose to,” new options may become apparent. For example, instead of staying in a job you dislike, you can choose to look for another job in the same or different organization, return to school or establish your own business.
– Restructure negative beliefs. Write down all negative thoughts you had within the past day. Rephrase these to make them more positive and to illustrate personal control. For example, if you said, “I’ll never find a job because I’m too old.” Restructure this, “I have the experience, skills, maturity, confidence creativity and persistence to find the position I want.”
Don’t be a prisoner of false beliefs. Ideas don’t come from mysterious external powers. Rather, your language, thoughts and speech habits express an image of dependence and helplessness or responsibility and power. Empower yourself by selecting language that illustrates personal control.
Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life shows how to take control of your life career https://www.amazon.com/Questers-Dare-Change-Your-Life/dp/1508408963
Check audible edition: htps://www.audible.com/pd/Questers-Dare-to-Change-Your-Job-and-Life-Audiobook/B07VZNKGJF?asin=B07VZNKGJF&ipRedirectOverride=true&overrideBaseCountry=true&pf_rd_p=34883c04-32e5-4474-a65d-0ba68f4635d3&pf_rd_r=TN801GRP49AWQSSYMDYC1
Carole Kanchier, PhD carole@daretochange.com; carole@questersdaretochange.com; http://www.questersdaretochange.com/blog
Dr. Kanchier is available for consultations and interviews.
About the Author: Carole Kanchier, PhD, is an internationally recognized newspaper/ digital columnist, registered psychologist and author of Questers Dare to Change Your Job and Life. Dr. Kanchier has taught at University of California, Berkeley and Santa Cruz and University of Alberta and other institutions of higher learning. Dr. Kanchier is known for her pioneering, interdisciplinary approach to human potential.
Questers Dare to Change redefines careers and work, and shows how to navigate lifelong career decisions!
