This insightful post about managing stress is brought to you by a wise friend of mine, Zoe, of ZealAndZen.com. Her blog has some very helpful tips on living a healthier lifestyle! Follow her on Facebook!
Please don’t shoot, I am just the messenger….
Since I have been doing some facebook posts on stress I thought it was time to do a blog too. I figured a blog was a better place to tell you something that you will likely dislike me a lot for. All I can say is I am just relating the information to you. I am not the person saying it is so. But that said, I do agree and even in the heat of my own stress response it drives me just as crazy as it likely will you.
On the good news side though, it is getting less frequent that I feel this way and I DO feel more control.
Well here it is….
You are the source of most of your stress, well for some of us, all of it.
Phew it is out there. Now I will explain.
Have you ever been with someone in a situation that you find unbearable and they just shrug their shoulders and move on; makes you even more crazy, no? How is it that they don’t feel the injustice or frustration of whatever has been presented and you do? Don’t they KNOW what is happening?
Truth is they do, they just process it differently and the key to stress reduction is to learn how to do the same.
I remember a story a friend told me about their first holiday with their new guy. They were waiting at the gate for their flight when it was announced cancelled. Immediately there was bedlam, people cursing, rushing the information desk, waving hands, complaining. But the two of them quietly sat in the middle of it all and gave a shrug. My friend said it was then that she really knew how special this guy was.
If I remember this story correctly there was only a minor disruption in their plans and the compensation offered was a huge perk. They saved on their tickets enough to have an extra great time while holidaying enjoying indulgences they wouldn’t have been able to otherwise.
Be careful about REACTING to your thoughts about a given situation, not the situation itself.
The situation really has a handful of interpretations. Key here is to check your expectations and the thought train that results from the altered pathway you thought you were on.
Say you are waiting for a friend at a restaurant, they are Twenty minutes late and the clock is ticking. Your internal conversation could start something like…well I was considerate and on time I would think they could be, argh I am so busy right now I can feel my work load increasing by the moment, I am soooo hungry, I feel so silly sitting by myself, everyone thinks I am being stood up…etc.
This type of thought pattern will jumpstart your stress response whereas….some time for me, wha hoo I never get quiet like this, oh an opportunity to check my messages and get caught up, maybe I will order an appetizer so I have something to munch on that I can share when they get here, I bet they will be hungry too I know how it feels to run late despite best intentions…will have you actually enjoying the downtime.
So the next time you are presented with a change in plans that MIGHT have less than ideal impact, check your expectations at the door, and/or think of the disguised OPPORTUNITY you have been presented.
Stop expecting everything to go exactly as you see it in your mind.
Life happens, things change and it doesn’t have to make it bad, just different. When things go really awry a trick I learned from a recent podcast says hit the pause button for at least two days before you react. In that time frame consider all angles of whatever it is you are dealing with. Lost a job? Well I wasn’t really happy there anyway, maybe I can find something with less of a commute, now I can take that training I have been thinking of to upgrade and be more marketable, I might be ready to hang up my own business shingle etc.
There is always a side less considered that deserves attention.
These are just examples. Some stuff will be hard not to react to but the more you think like this the less stress you will feel AND you will discover options and be thinking productively instead of negatively. It is so easy to self talk yourself into a corner!
Good luck changing thought trains; I’d love to hear how it goes. If you are already in super stress mode remember the love my RESTORE, REPAIR, RESET online yoga course offers…it can help you crawl out of stress and into ease.
Happy day,
Zoë
